When Grief & Loss become more than just words
- alanwalkerpaco
- Jul 5, 2018
- 2 min read
As a Christian Counselor I often have clients who make an appointment to talk about recent or past losses. There are times when a loss from 10 or 20 years ago rises to the surface and become overwhelming. More often it is the recent loss of a loved one, close friend, spouse, family member, and yes even a beloved pet. Grief can be in the form of a lost job, a foreclosure on a house, and failing health. Grief is debilitating as well as a pathway into depression and anxiety.
Recently, just before a counseling session I had a voice message from my brother Ray. The client had not yet come in, so I took a moment to listen to what witty thing he had to say. I was puzzled to hear his wife's voice, and then shocked at that she had to say. In very few words she told me my brother Ray had passed away that afternoon. Like many of you who have had this type of news I had to listen to the message again to be sure I heard it right. I had just spent some time with my brother and he was fine. In fact, he had no health issues that I was aware of.
It has been a few weeks since his passing and to be honest it is still difficult to get my mind wrapped around this loss. Some of the emotions I have been feeling I am sure many can relate to such as sadness, unbelief he is gone, sorrow from the times we will never have, regrets to some degree for not having taken more time with my brother.
Grief and loss are simply word until they sadly become reality. Until the phone rings.

Psychologist Raymond Cattell whittled Allport's list down to 171 characteristics, mostly by eliminating redundant and uncommon ones. He then used a statistical technique known as factor analysis to identify interrelated traits and condense his list into 16 key personality factors.
Cattell viewed personality traits on a continuum. Each person has all 16 traits to a degree, but each person
The following are Cattell's 16 personality factors:
Abstractedness: Imaginative versus practical
Apprehension: Worried versus confident
Dominance: Forceful versus submissive
Emotional stability: Calm versus high-strung
Liveliness: Spontaneous versus restrained
Openness to change: Flexible versus attached to the familiar
Perfectionism: Controlled versus undisciplined
Privateness: Discreet versus open
Reasoning: Abstract versus concrete
Rule-consciousness: Conforming versus non-conforming
Self-reliance: Self-sufficient versus dependent
Sensitivity: Tender-hearted versus tough-minded
Social boldness: Uninhibited versus shy
Tension: Inpatient versus relaxed
Vigilance: Suspicious versus trusting
Warmth: Outgoing versus reserved
Cattell's 16 personality…